How About Those Washington Savages?
Or, is it the Washington Politicians?
Maybe it’s the Washington…
Like a small grassy island sitting in the Louisiana marsh is eventually eroded away by the tidal currents, the name “Washington Redskins” will inevitably succumb to the tide of political correctness – I mean public opinion and pressure and government meddling – and be changed. This will happen. It’s becoming a “cause célébre” for Native American activist, politicians and what I euphemistically call the liberal judges of political correctness. Therefore, it will eventually happen. The U.S. Patents and Trademark Office has just recently ruled that the name was “disparaging” and therefore most be canceled.
As someone whose great-grandmothers on both sides of my family tree were full blood Native American – one was Houmas and the other was Cherokee – I can understand the desires of some Native Americans to have the name change. Even if I am not offended by the name, I can see how some are. (And, for the record, I have never attempted to use any connection with my Native American heritage for any gain. I’m not ashamed of it, I have just felt that by the time it reached me the bloodline was thinned out.)
As for the ruling by the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board, an independent administrative tribunal within the patent office, all it does is cancels the federal trademark registrations once the appeal process has run it’s course. Of course, if you really believe the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board is independent and doesn’t bow to political pressure, then you must also believe in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, that ATF didn’t sell guns to drug cartels south of the border and that IRS emails are really lost because a desktop computer crashes.
Whether you believe it was a correct ruling or not, I believe that eventually the name will be changed and that somehow the owner of the Washington (Blanks), will figure out a way to make the change without costing himself anything. He probably will even find a way to do it where some other entity pays him for changing the name. One way or the other, the name change will happen.
But, in this day and age of political correctness, what are the options for renaming a team so that the new appellation doesn’t offend anyone? My first thought was Washington Tribe but while it may not be as objectionable, the mascots probably would be insulting caricatures to someone.
I thought about how the could name the team the Washington Senators but that name has been used before. I also eliminate the name Washington Politicians. The fans and sportswriters would eventually shorten it to Washington Pols and when they started losing they could be called the Washington Polly’s. That would be disparaging to every woman named Polly. Plus, most politicians are regarded as incompetent and/or corrupt and that’s not the reputation a professional team would willing seek out.
They would also have to avoid naming it after a bird also. Washington is located too close to the Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons. There are also profession sports teams named Cardinals, Blue Jays, and of course, Seahawks, so those are out. However, I would still consider the Washington Vultures?
Predatory or strong animals are good team mascots but Bears, Jaguars, Lions, Panthers, Rams; Tigers are already in use in professional sports. While not predatory, you would also have to skip using the Washington Elephants because the Donkeys would object.
Vikings, Raiders, Pirates and Warriors are also already in use. Some of them are even good teams, so those names are taken. I thought about the Washington Conquistadors, but I’m thinking the NFL may want to nix that name in case it ever expands to Mexico. Conquistadors would have a negative connotation in that country. That reasoning would also rule out the Washington Redcoats. Our friends on the other side of the Atlantic wouldn’t probably take that as an insult.
But there has to be some good names available for use that have some relationship to the Washington D.C. area. Just think of these possibilities:
Washington Monuments (there are a lot of monuments in D.C.)
Washington Crabs (close to the famous Maryland Blue Crabs)
Washington Vipers (red and yellow are colors associated with some snakes, so you wouldn’t have to change team colors)
Washington Savages or Marauders would probably work as long as they are careful designing their mascot to avoid any racial stereotypes.
Washington Devils? Again, they could keep the same team colors.
Or, to strike fear in the hearts of the opponents name them – the Washington Tax Collectors.
Reflections on smoking a pipe…
My first memory of someone smoking a pipe is of my grandfather. Paw Paw, as we called him, was a pipe smoker and, since this was about 55 years ago, I will say he favored the tobaccos that he could get at the local drugstores. The ones I remember him smoking the most were probably Prince Albert and Mixture #79. There were many other pipe tobaccos sold over-the-counter back then, like Carter Hall, Middleton’s and Sail but Price Albert and Mixture #79 sticks in my memory for some reason. There were probably some others also but I don’t remember all of them – I wasn’t even 10 years old back then.
What I do remember was you could always tell when he was home because you could smell the aroma of his pipe and the smell of a good pipe tobacco takes me back in time to those days. Maybe I remember it because there were times when he came home from work and he would have stopped at the Walgreen’s Drug Store and picked up some tobacco and occasionally some ice cream. But for whatever reason, I remember him smoking his pipe and the aroma of his pipe tobacco.
I have never been a cigarette smoker and I didn’t start smoking a pipe or cigars until I was stationed at my first unit in the Coast Guard in 1972. It was an icebreaker homeported in Seattle, Wa., and over the next 26 months we would make two trips into the Bering Sea/Arctic Ocean and one trip to Antarctica. When you are floating around in the middle of the ice there aren’t a whole lot of things to do for fun and relaxation back then. I think that over half the crew grew or had beards that first trip, even me.
I started smoking a pipe on that first trip and I wish I still had that pipe. It was handmade from a deer antler by one of the guys on the ship as a craft. He was making them and selling them for around $5. No telling how much he could sell them for now.
My tobacco of choice was whatever I could buy in our ships store. Usually it was some of the same over-the-counter type tobacco that Paw Paw would buy at the drugstore. I remember smoking the Mixture #79 and Middleton’s Cherry before getting fancy and moving up to Captain Black and Borkum Riff. Eventually I developed a preference of the Borkum Riff Whiskey blend.
My pipe smoking actually tapered off after I was transferred off the ship and while I would still enjoy a bowl every now and then, it wasn’t something I did everyday. Looking back, I think it was a combination of just not taking the time to sit back and enjoy it and the fact that I started noticing a “soapy” aftertaste to the tobacco.
From time to time though, I would still find myself picking up a pipe and enjoying it. Most of these were cheap drugstore pipes that you could buy back then for 5 or 6 dollars and they came with paper filters. I didn’t know a good briar pipe from a cheap corncob.
I realize know that these were the same type of pipes that Paw Paw smoked. After he died in the late 70’s, I was given two of his pipes. One is a bent briar Spartan made by Yello Bole that I still have and smoke occasionally. The other was what I call a mini-pipe that is also made from briar that I have passed on to one of my sons.
My first “expensive” pipe was a Christmas present I was given in 1984. It’s a Meerschaum and the design is a Cavalier. I still have it and smoke it.
I pretty much completely stopped smoking my pipe or cigars in 1989, after we found out our youngest daughter had asthma and allergies. I just could see adding to her health problems by smoking anywhere around her. That didn’t stop me from enjoying an occasional cigar during events such as poker night at a friend house or while waiting for the parade to start during Mardi Gras.
I gradually found me way back to cigars after she left for college and while I was working as the managing editor for a hunting and fishing magazine. I found that a good cigar after a day’s fishing or to celebrate getting another issue to press was a good thing. I also discovered how much I enjoyed a good hand-rolled cigar over machine made ones. And, after my sons graduated from high schools and became of legal age, I introduced them to good cigars. Which led to one of them, Ryan, picking up a pipe.
It was his purchase of a collection of inexpensive estate pipes that re-introduced me to pipe smoking and to get his older brother started on pipes. I now have a small collection of pipes to choose from. In addition to my old Yello Bole and Meerschaum, I now own a White Hall Leather that Ryan picked with the estate pipes, a Savinelli Churchwarden I received as a Christmas present in 2012, a Calabash I bought at a “antique/junk” store and three pipes I hand carved myself – two briars and one cherrywood.
We also discovered that there are many different pipe tobaccos available now and they are so much better (to my taste) than the ones I started smoking in the 70s. I don’t think any of us have settled into just one brand or blend of tobacco because there are so many available. I’ve found that we all have developed our own preferences in tobaccos. For example, my oldest son, Alec, prefers the non-aromatic, English Cut type. I prefer a light aromatic, and Ryan prefers an aromatic.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter what type of pipe tobacco we are smoking. Sitting with one of them and enjoying a good beer or glass of whiskey while smoking a pipe is easily one of the most enjoyable moments –if rare – that I have these days.
