I write this with knowledge beforehand that I may hereby insult or ridicule some new “friends” I recently made. Therefore I plead for forgiveness of those kind souls who obviously have a firmer grasp on what is truly important in life than I. It is not my intent to remain firmly on the wrong side of the tracks and ignorant of the ways of the world of pipe smoking. I readily admit my ignorance of all aspects of pipe smoking etiquette and procedures.
Scratch that last paragraph. I don’t mean anything it says. In fact, I am going to ridicule, insult, giggle at and make fun in general of some people. I just won’t mention any names and I will endeavor not to use the adjective “pompous.”
I recently joined some social forums for pipe smokers. I will not mention the name of said forums, just that the primary purposes are for pipe smokers and pipe aficionados to gather and commune with other pipe smokers and pipe aficionados throughout the world. Indeed, I have read posts from England, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Scotland, Thailand; probably half of the United States, and several South American countries. I have also seen post for U.S. military personnel serving in different Middle Eastern countries.
The posters run the gamut from newbies – people who have just started pipe smoking – to those who I must assume hold doctorates in the fine art of pipe smoking, the history of pipe smoking and are master artist in producing fine works of arts that are pipes.
They are connoisseurs of tobacco leaf processed to be smoked in a pipe. They can, if you (mistakenly) ask, break down each tobacco blend on the market to the smallest component and provide you with a schematic detailing which tobacco it contains, how many shreds of each variety of leaf, and what the aging and curing process was for each component tobacco. Some of them may even be able to tell you if the tobacco in the tin was hand blended or mixed by machine. These people are serious about their pipe tobacco. They have dedicated their entire lives to learning about pipe tobacco. With one puff, they can tell you where it was grown, what the soil conditions were and what type of fertilizer was used.
Seriously. I kid.
While there are some extremist pipe smokers on-line and who probably feel the above is an accurate description of their abilities and knowledge they are not the majority. There are thousands of pipers who have studied different aspects of pipe smoking and have become subject matter experts in various areas. There are some who can tell you every single detail about Peterson pipes that you could want to know. There are some who can talk for days about why they prefer the over-the-counter blends to house blends sold in good tobacco shops. You want to grow your own pipe tobacco, cure it, age it and blend it yourself? You can find entire forums pertaining to that endeavor.
Want to carve your own pipe? There are forums where the members can explain what wood you can use (there are many types other than Briar), what the characteristics of each wood is, and how best to carve it. They will even explain what wood you should definitely not use and why. Some of them will tell you why they would rather smoke a Meerschaum than a Briar. Some will extol the pleasures of smoking Missouri Meerschaum – better known as Corn Cob pipes.
Want to know the difference between English Blends and Aromatic? Knowledgeable folks in the forum can explain it. Want an explanation of what Perique is and how it is different from Latkia or Turkish? They can answer it. I don’t think a question about pipe smoking and tobacco exists that cannot be answered in a good forum. Forums provide a knowledge base that is unparalleled in books available. If fact, I don’t think there are even a handful of books that covers pipe smoking in a positive manner.
This is why I enjoy the pipe smoking forums that I have joined. The members are for the most part friendly, knowledgeable and willing to answer any question new members may have. They are an added value to the hobby of pipe smoking.
Now, you know this was coming. There are also some members in pipe smoking forums that make me sit back and laugh, “What is wrong with these people? Don’t they have anything else to do in their lives?” These are the extremists. I picture them as rail-thin, hair and beards to their knees, bloodshot eyes and hands that shake like they have delirium tremens when they don’t have a lit pipe in their hands. They wake up in the morning and have the first pipe lit before they get out of bed. The ones who are not rail thin are the ones who have mastered putting food into their mouths between puffs.
Okay. That’s an exaggeration.
But seriously, I get the feeling that some members take the hobby far too serious and have practices that worry me. Let me explain.
I currently have ten different pipes in my collection that I can routinely pick up, fill with tobacco and smoke. I have four or five (maybe eight) different pipe tobaccos currently sitting on my desk that I will choose from depending on my mood. After reading many posts in the forum, I realize this makes me a pipe smoking dilettante. I am a light-weight.
I have read the post of the serious pipe smokers. I have found some who believe that it is a mortal sin to smoke the same pipe more than once a month because you have to let it rest between usage. I have read posts from people who swear that you have to dedicate a single pipe to a single type of pipe tobacco. It is a sacrilege to smoke a non-aromatic pipe tobacco in a pipe you have previously used for an aromatic tobacco. Then there are the real extremists who believe that you must have a single pipe for every single brand of tobacco you smoke. Buy a new brand of tobacco then you, by God, buy a new pipe to put that tobacco in. Think I’m kidding? Join a pipe smoking forum and read what’s in there. You’ll find these members.
There are also members who swear by all that is holy, that the only tobacco worth smoking is English Blend. There are members who think you haven’t lived until you smoked flake. There are members who smoke nothing but the drugstore blends that my grandfather used to smoke back in the 60s (and I thought most of them went out of production back then).
I have also read posts from people who believe that when you buy a tin of tobacco you should lock it in a safe deposit box and leave it for another 30 or 40 years so that it can age. Apparently the stuff is barely smokeable when you buy it off the shelf.
I am not kidding here. I recently bought a tin that I wanted to try because of the reviews I have read or heard. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I’d like a tin of Oak Alley.
Tobacconist: That’s a good choice. Are you cellaring it?
Me: Cellaring? No. I haven’t thought about it.
Tobacconist: Oh. Well, it’s a good tobacco. But it doesn’t really reach it’s peak until you cellar it for 10 or 15 years.
Me: Can you guarantee that I will still be alive in 10 or 15 years to smoke it? (Okay, I made that part up. I didn’t say it but I did think it.)
Well, if you have stayed with me this long, I will now get to my point about pipe smoking. I find it a very relaxing and enjoyable hobby. But it is obviously one that can take control of your life if you are not careful. Despite the examples of the extremist (notice I still have not used pompous as an adjective), you don’t need a pipe collection. You don’t need a single pipe for every single type of tobacco you smoke. You don’t need 15 or 20 different types of pipe tobacco to smoke. You need to find what makes you happy as a pipe smoker and stick with it.
You need to realize that most pipe smokers probably only have one or two different pipes and only smoke the pipe tobacco that they find suits their taste. From what I remember of my grandfather, he only had two or three pipes and only smoked George Washington before it went out of production. After that, it was whatever he could find on sale at the drugstore.
He was happy with that.
Some of my favorite forums:
https://thebriarpatchforum.com/
© J. Gibson Creative Services 2017
Comments
You forgot to mention the aromatic pipe smokers like myself who prefer their tobacco to taste like a bakery product, more so than tobacco.
Author
As someone who smokes aromatics about 60 percent of the time, I didn’t feel it necessary to complain about aromatic pipe smokers. However, most of my aromatic blends smell and taste like fruit salad.
If you’re browsing a pipe forum and you’re not smoking a new blowfish artisan pipe with a GLP blend that’s been buried in the dirt for 7 years (for maximum aging), then you’re simply doing it wrong.
Great post! I know forums are losing ground to social media, but I always like them. It’s tough finding the right forum, since the members determine the overall attitude of a forum. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced any that I’ve found off putting. For me, what I like most about them is hearing the stories and experiences from other pipers. Since I don’t really go to my local club, it helps me stay connected with the wider pipe world.
Love this blog ! Keep it coming. – SmokeOnTheWater
I had to laugh I smoked a pipe lightly for over three decades on and off normally the same tobacco and the same pipe , it was not a big deal. Now I am retired and living alone I thought I would socialise online on pipe forums, but I know where you are coming from. It is the same in most clubs , I have joined, they are rather like secret societies with their rituals and taboos.
I find now I could not be bothered posting on pipe forums , I browse them and give a ” like” for someone I can respect, but it is to bothersome for an older traditionalist like myself.
The worst thing of these modern forums is the anonymity of them, you do not know who runs them for what purpose. I hope I am wiser after my pipe hobby exploration.
Anyway enjoy your drink & pipe….