Pappy’s Tips for Long Smoke Contests

As I sit here preparing to practice for a long smoke contest in two weeks, I thought I would pass on some words of wisdom and insights.

First, and most importantly, the rules for long smoke, slow smoke or pipe smoking contests and competitions vary as much as the locations they are held in. There is no governing body that has set the rules and can force all competition to use the same rules. While the United Pipe Clubs of America (UPCA) rules say contestants must use new pipes supplied by the contest, other clubs let participants use their own pipes. Other than that, the rules can be different as determined by the responsible organizers.

They do all agree that the contest organizers provide the same tobacco for all contestants, the amount may differ. One competition I know of gives each smoker three grams of tobacco and five minutes to pack their pipes. Another one only uses two grams and doesn’t give a time limit.   Some say you can take the pipe out of your mouth, look at the bowl, put the stem back in your mouth and then tamp. Others are more lenient and allows you to tamp when the pipe is out of your mouth.

They all agree to a two matches limit for lighting the pipe. How you use the matches may differ though.  One contest gives you two matches and one minute to use both. The one I participate in gives you two matches, tells you when to light the first one and when to light the second one. The “judge” or “time-keeper” then announces when the contest begins.

Now, to be honest, I’ve only officially competed in two long smoke competitions. Before the first contest I received the best advice possible, “Pack right, smoke slow and steady, and tamp lightly.” I have won twice using that advice.

In my opinion, the first important step of the contest is loading your pipe. Packed too loose, the tobacco will burn faster (and hotter) and won’t last long enough. Packed too tightly and you won’t get a good draw and will have trouble keeping the tobacco lit. You can use any method you choose to load your pipe. I use the “thirds” method that I use for everyday smoking. I suggest you use the method you are comfortable using, a smoking contest is not the time to experiment.

Next is the light. Take the first match and make sure you get all the tobacco at the top of the bowl lit and glowing. Then lightly tamp before striking the second match. Use the second match to make sure you have a nice, even light on the top of the tobacco. The tobacco should glow like a hot coal all around the bowl.

Slow and Steady for the win…

So, pack right, light right and then start smoking. Easy, right? Well, puff like a train and you may last five or 10 minutes. That’s great if it’s a “Who can burn out their pipe” contest but won’t win any prices in a long smoke. So, don’t smoke too fast. Don’t smoke too slow either, I know one smoker who likes to take a puff every 30 to 45 seconds. He usually goes deep into the contest but runs the risk of his pipe going out. In my opinion, the key is finding the right slow and steady cadence.

I like to use the “breath smoking” technique. In fact, when I’m sitting and relaxing at home, it’s how I normally smoke my pipes. I put the stem in my mouth, clinch and lightly puff while breathing in and out normally. I often get over an hour of smoking pleasure this way.

My final tip is to steal the lyrics from an old reggae song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Don’t get nervous and start fidgeting with your pipe or tamping every 15 seconds. Sit there, relax, and meditate on which prize pipe you will choose when you win.

(© J. Gibson Creative Services, May 2018)